I’m sorry I haven’t written in my own blog lately (but did you see the post I did for Chantelle Atkins?). The truth is that I’m not very good at keeping a steady blog. I have to force it. I’m trying to find good subjects to post about, ones you would enjoy and find valuable. It’s either funny or sad that I can write entire books of content, but when it comes to my blog, I’m left with blanks.
As a quick update, yes, I am still editing All That Glitters: Wanted (as of 8.20.2016 the edits are completed and I’ll be putting them in the computer soon!). Revisions take time, loves! And I don’t want anyone to be disappointed in the final copy once they get their hands on it. (Speaking of final copies, did you know that All That Glitters: Those Who Wander is now available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble, iBooks, Kobo, and Gooble Play? Fantastic, right?)
I am making unintended changes to The Worst Dyrkon because I found a timeline problem. The covers for Wanted and The Worst Dyrkon are in the works. My artist (and sister Malaena Medford) for my All That Glitters series has the basics and is working on the initial sketches. I am working (fighting and arguing) with Adobe InDesign on the title for The Worst Dyrkon. The vision I had for it that I gave to Jakeart1 (and she delivered beautifully!) didn’t account for the title! So now I am arguing with the letters to make them fit in an appealing way without detracting from the amazing artwork. It’s my own fault, it really is. And I am in no way upset about it. Fight the good fight!
Now, in my busy state of edits and school and formatting and revising and demon invasions (For Azeroth! Yes, sorry, I’m one of those afk 100s only there for the bags. I do participate on my lowbies for that sweet demon experience they’ve rolled out, but on my 100s I just want the bags so I can have the gear and multitask!) I keep failing at coming up with content for the few topics I’ve thought of to post in this blog. So instead, I’m going to take a moment to give a shout out to one of my favorite misfits.
She doesn’t know I watch everything she does very closely. She doesn’t know that I care about her the way that I do. She doesn’t realize that we have a lot in common and that I am here for her when she needs to talk. She doesn’t have to feel alone, and I don’t want her to be alone. This socially abstract, beautiful girl has been through so much and I just wish I could take away the pain of her life so I could see that adorable smile she used to shine on the world. Now her smiles are less bright. Now her eyes hide a sadness she doesn’t deserve. Now she has a clinical label: Depression.
I see it in her posts that she is lonely, and yet when I reach out she doesn’t meet me halfway. Maybe she doesn’t realize that I truly care. Maybe she’s afraid of losing someone else. Maybe she thinks she’s not good enough for friends.
You are good enough.
She is good enough and you who are reading this are good enough. We all deserve someone that cares. Don’t push the ones that do away because you’re afraid.
I’m scared, too. Every day I have to remind myself that my mind is my only enemy. My mind is the one telling me that my closest friends are one step away from turning around; that they’re looking for an excuse to leave me behind. Some have. I don’t know why, and I’m not sure I ever will. But they weren’t looking for the reason.
For now, my special misfit is winning against herself. She is entering high school this year with a smile stretching beneath her colored-black hair. She is pressing forward and remaining a part of this strange thing called life. Life which is beautiful and ugly and confusing and brilliant. Life which hurts and gives pleasure and is so devastatingly hard sometimes that giving up seems like a great idea.
Don’t let it win.
Never give up! Never surrender!
By Grabthar’s Hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged!
Wait… Got a little carried away there, didn’t I? Although, one can never go wrong when quoting the late, great Alan Rickman.
But the point is, keep going. Give yourself a small goal to shoot for like “Make it to high school,” or “Make it to winter break.” It doesn’t have to be anything fancy or spectacular. When you reach your goal, reward yourself with something (I’m rather partial to Snickers Ice Cream Bars) and then set a new goal. “Make it to prom,” “Make it to summer break,” “Make it to graduation.”
Nothing gets better if you don’t let it.
Don’t chase out the ones who care, the ones who are making that extra effort. You’re worth that effort to them.
You’re worth the effort.
~ * ~
Alright, my lovelies, it is time for me to sign off. I’ll do my best to post sooner and more often! (Shooting for Mondays, the misfit weekday!)
Stay abstract! ❤